Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Feeling so unsettled today. A restless energy, perfectionist head space coupled with physical pain has me wrestling hard. The seed of doubt somehow burrowing into it all leaving me without a sense of place. I have four unfinished paintings screaming for attention and I wonder what God is doing to me this moment. With my mental bent towards productivity (good) and unproductivity (bad) I really am in a real mess. Just being and resting today is eluding me, so my only option in such a tight corner is to lean into Christ.
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I have struggled with waiting on God to heal me. During a "bout" I read a book that asked the question, "Will I seek my joy in the Lord, even in my affliction?" I realized that the answer for me was, "NO." And when I uttered that word out loud, it broke my heart and I realized in that moment, that the real answer was, "Yes." I WILL choose to seek my solice, my peace, my JOY in Christ, during adversity. I WILL trust Him today even though I am ill and unable to take care of the tasks that are assigned to me. OH! Perhaps the task assigned to me TODAY, is waiting on Him; trusting. There are decisions to be made today. What does my dear brilliant friend remind me to do? The next right thing? Pray, talk about it with others who might have some knowledge and/or experience in this matter and then.....
I didn't realize you are also a Christian...I just signed up for the DAWG group, but I haven't posted there yet. I hope you are having a better day today!
Tracey!
We all go through this at some time.
I know you will make it through and probably have by now.
-Dean
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