Wednesday, May 27, 2009

All of Creation Groans

I can't sleep. I tried, but the images of the evening have hijacked my sound mind. Regret weighs on me.

"Section 60" is about the area in Arlington Cemetery where casualties of the Iraq war are buried. Several funerals, along with many heartbreaking graveside visits with family members make up the film. Witnessing the intimate agony of moms, dads, wives and children of these lost soldiers is unbearable. One father visits his son's grave lying down on top of it for hours at a time.

"Running for their Lives" is a short that brings to light the common practice of shipping racehorses who cannot run fast enough off to auction and slaughter. The graphic nature of the footage left me sick to my stomach. The reality that the puntilla knife is still in use as a kill method is barbaric. I cannot believe anyone can treat animals in this atrocious manner.

And, now, hours later, I sit in my dark living room feeling the wretchedness that is mankind. When I hear the statement that mankind is "basically good," that humanistic standard of thought, I always wonder how in the world anyone comes to that conclusion, because if we were to step outside our comfortable, pre-packaged lives, we would see how ridiculous a statement this is. We lie to ourselves because we don't want to face who we are. And we don't see the real nature of our souls without the Light.

All of creation IS groaning and suffering because of us. Our inherent nature is to kill, rob and destroy. Animals, and humans, become throw-aways because they don't suit our needs and wants. And the overwhelming sorrow I feel about that this night has me wide awake. And though I know Jesus will return and all sorrow and suffering, pain and crying will be wiped out, it is almost too much to bear. The only hope we have as a human race is Christ and He cannot make all things new soon enough for me.


ChristopherKuper said...

Ive had a few nights like that. Certainly after watching stuff like that your brain is going to go to dark places.

I think the idea that we are all basically good is a concept derived from pure ignorance. Even more so when your definition of good is as skewed as theirs.

If someone were to ask me if I was a good person I would say yes and no. Not in the eyes of God, perhaps in your though.

As of late, Ive become more subdued. Less outrage over things that used to upset me, less anger over things that I felt could not be changed. Now I have a sense of urgency, a calm determination to change things. I dont know how God will use me in this, but I have to believe that he already is. That he is using you as well. I am so glad we live in this time, right now.

We are in a strange place. We are christians, strong christians who see such a deep responsibility to be fantastic with our gifts, thoughts, art. To go past the surface that everyone else is floating on and do something worth while.

I am glad you stayed up thinking about these things. I feel as if God leaves us notes lying around in places that we often walk. We will use them.

Tracey Clarke said...

I have felt really alone in this..I am relieved to find that you have similar struggles, though I might have guessed...
I often think way too much about things until I talk myself in a corner, but this is forcing me to ask difficult questions about how I live and how I consume...
"Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease?", so to speak...
Thx, C.

Dean Grey said...


I agree with some of what you wrote.

Yes, our inherent nature is to kill, rob, and destroy.


Don't we have an inherent nature to create, to love, to share as well?

We as a human race can and should be doing so much more than we are doing. But it will take time. A lot of time.

We may never get there but we all have to try.


Tracey Clarke said...

Thx, Dean. Well,I believe we do see positive actions in people, but when we see it in our lives it is a reflection of the Creator, yet it is always imperfect, tainted by our own fallen nature, our own selfishness. It is Christ in me that enables me to live above my fallen nature. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, which is how it will be as long as I am in the body.

4 the Contemplative Artist said...

Hi Tracey,
My friend you are not alone!!
You are articulating this with a heart/mind that gets it.

One of my favorite bible teachers made a comment that I loved and it has stuck with me. He said:

"the true definition of insanity is the parting away from how God/Christ thinks"

Me thinkest, the world is most definitely insane :) Has been since the fall.

I know, for me I have to focus on Him and the hope that awaits. The kind of Hope that is NOT wishful thinking, but is a confident expectation that He will do as He says. The current conditions will have an END. It will get worse before it gets better, but it will not prevail.

I like you, have sleepless nights.The pain,the suffering, the evils done to children and animals weigh heavy. I pray a lot and wrestle in conversations with Him during those sleepless hours.
I so agree with you, He can't return soon enough for me either.

In the mean time we represent Him my friend,as His ambassadors. Not an easy task but SO worth it!