Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The good fruit of goodness

There has been a recurrence of scripture about respondsibility for the gifts of God in my study this week. Isaiah 58:6-11 to be exact along with the ones from Matthew.

My tendency is to become overwhelmed and begin to examine all the things that I am not doing and to question from every concievable angle what it is I am supposed to do. My flesh and the enemy are continually pushing to get my focus off of the things I KNOW to do by getting my thoughts on what I am unsure of, of what is unclear. I can begin to count all the ways I am failing and that in and of itself causes failure. In me that intense self examination causes paralysis, because I can find "no good thing."

The study I am currently in on the fruit of the spirit explains the word "goodness" as active. Goodness is a working out. (And it isn't just being nice and not rocking the boat. In fact goodness often expresses itself through confrontation. Just look at some of the things Jesus did and said to confirm.) Goodness creates something. It is fruitful. Looking at the creation in Genesis God proclaimed His creations good. God's goodness, which is active, created good fruit. And not just fruit in the form of living beings. He called all of it good. Ocean and all.

So, all my wonderings about the validity of my creative gift and all it's ins and outs, how is matters, how in the world is it of any use are quelled for the moment. Could it be that the fruit (artwork) of His gift to me of creativity (artistry) is actually "good?"

Monday, November 20, 2006

Matthew 25 times two......

Where to begin......
I have been in the presense of Matthew 25 twice in the last two days. Don't believe in coincidences and feel a little out of sorts about it.
I have waded in the water often with a lot of questions about God's call on my life, i.e. my art and where I fit into the body of Christ.
Here comes Matthew 25 speaking loud and clear about the working out into the world of the things that God has entrusted to us. Am I doing that? Heck, I am not even sure exactly what my "talents" are fully.
I don't feel great today. I might be on the downslope of a mountaintop I was living on over the summer. Maybe I should think on it later. I often lay heavy burdens upon myself when the atmospheres of God's word and my bad feelings collide. These two together are not conducive to breeding faith, yet I know that I know that faith is exactly what He means to grow in me. I can't seem to get there today. I will try again tomorrow. His mercies are new every morning.