There are times along the path of my life that I feel so crushed in my soul that I wonder how much longer I have to be here. It is as these times, I realize the limited capacity I have to tolerate suffering and evil. Some may call it "oversensitivity." I am not sure we can be "oversensitive." We certainly learn through the media to be callous and numb to the pain of others turning off our concern like a light switch and moving on with whatever concerns us in the moment. Surely, we live in a country that, for the most part, wallows in comfort.
I saw a thing a few days ago that shook me to my bare bones. I heard a thing that has haunted my idle moments, stolen my sleep and nauseated me for days. I struggle to get out from under it, and in me it uncovers a burning hatred for the Evil one and for the level of depravity that can be born out of the human soul. It has now become a means for the Enemy to plant a seed of despair in my heart. Though confident the Lord will bring me out, one thing is once again solid in my mind. We are not meant to be here in this fallen place, in such a sad, pathetic state and certainly, there dwells in us no good thing apart from the spirit of Christ. All of our self-serving pats on the back, each moment of pride at our so-called "acts of service" crumble in the Light of His perfection and devastating grace. If we dare lift up the carpet of our outward appearance, we will find a rotten hole. I can honestly say that today, I am waiting expectantly and hopefully for the end of all things.