Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Radiation was pretty uneventful today. I am happy to have had a few days break and no post headache today.
Craig took this photo this morning. I won't go into the multiple side effects of Decadron, but those of us who have to take it for an extended period get what is called"moon face" (I prefer "moonpie face" 'cos it's funny...) When I look in the mirror, I look like a stranger. It's a funny thing to have been so active, fit and capable and be brought to a place that I barely climb the stairs or lift anything. As a weight trainer and runner, watching this dramatic change, a narrowing some of the passions of my life, has been both a sorrow and a grace.
Through brain cancer, I see is how the Lord has taken away so that I can truly see what is eternal and what truly has value. I have opportunity to examine myself. There are many things that are good, like exercise and taking care of the body, but they are not always the BEST thing. The good things we do often keep us from focusing on the best or wisest thing for us. Often times they even become obsessions that take over our lives, exhibit a narcissistic preoccupation with ourselves and need to control. Of course, this sort of thing can manifest in all kinds of behaviors. Name it. We all do it.
The physical body is perishing. Make no mistake. Take care of it, exercise, eat well and do all you can. But we are all terminal. This is a reality to me now that has come into my life in just the last six weeks. I am grateful for the gift of this narrowing life this whittling down so that I can see.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen ; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Cor 4:16-18